month’s column continues with the analysis of the core biological
differences between men and women. Much of this material is derived from
Barbara and Allan Peases’ fascinating and insightful book, “Why Men
Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps.” I plan to include some of
the Peases’ findings in the second edition of my book, “Divorce with
Decency: The Complete How-To Handbook and Survivor’s Guide to the Legal,
Emotional, Economic, and Social Issues,” which will be published by the
University of Hawaii Press later this year. In this month’s column I
discuss how men and women differ in their often opposite communication
styles, and also summarize (in an admittedly “generalized” and over
simplified framework) several of their key physical and sexual
woman speaks an average of 6,000 - 8,000 words a day. A man utters just
2,000 - 4,000 words a day. Seventy-four percent of working women and 98
percent of non-working women identify as a reluctance to talk as the
biggest failing of their husbands and boyfriends.
talk in generalities. Men talk in sentences that are short, direct, more
structured, solution-oriented and to the point. Women have a sixth sense
and are more “touchy-feely,” whereas men tend not to listen, miss the
details and are “insensitive.” Women are 4 - 6 times more likely to
touch another woman in a social interaction than a man. Men avoid touch
and retreat into their own world when under pressure.
or sisters often feel compelled to “speak up,” responding on behalf of
their quieter sons/brothers, since speech and language are not specific
brain skills for males. In surveys, a third of all women said their
average phone calls lasted at least 15 minutes, whereas half the men said
their calls were less than 5 minutes.
women, shopping and eating out is a form of intimacy, just like talking.
Meanwhile, men tend to avoid intimacy. They don’t like much eye contact
and would rather channel surf the TV than seriously focus on any one
thing. When faced with a problem situation, 78
percent of girls tried to walk away or negotiate it, whereas 74
percent of boys used verbal or physical aggression.
woman’s skin is 10 times more sensitive to touch and pressure than a
man’s. Men have thicker skin than women, which explains why women get
more wrinkles than men. Women’s excess fat is distributed on their
thighs, rears and upper arms. Men accumulate excess fat in what is usually
called a “pot belly”.
are auditory and feeling. They want touch and romance and are stimulated
through their ears (i.e., sweet words). Men are visual and want sex. They
are stimulated through their eyes (i.e., erotic images). Only 36 percent
of women wanted sex with the lights on. Seventy-six percent of men wanted
sex with the lights on. When a man sees a woman naked, he becomes highly
stimulated and aroused. When a woman sees a man naked, she bursts into
a man decides to sensually touch a woman, he “makes the moves” he
likes and gropes her body. Women hate this - touch her gently, guys.
Women’s sex drives are like an oven — it heats slowly to its top
temperature and takes a lot longer to cool down. Men’s sex drive is like
a gas burner — it ignites instantly, operates at full capacity within
seconds and can be turned off just as quickly.
woman’s sexual peak is between the ages of 36 and 38. A man’s sex
drive peaks at age 19. Men generally have a higher sex drive than most
women. Less than 3 percent of women are addicted to sex. Eight percent of
men are addicted to sex. Women take around 13 minutes to reach orgasm. Men
take around 2_ minutes to reach orgasm.