Family
Court Is Now Becoming By:
Bradley Coates The family court of yesteryear generally
accepted that parties who came before a judge asking for a divorce trial
were usually too far divided to be brought closer together through any
form of settlement discussions or techniques. Stated more simply, the
family court of old reasoned that if the parties hadn’t yet agreed on
the issues, then they would most likely never agree on the issues. With this type of reasoning as a backdrop,
the family court became more crowded and congested as ever more parties
kept requesting trial dates. The system soon became quite backlogged.
Something simply had to give. Over time, it did, as Hawaii’s family
courts gradually realized that mediation of the disputed issues was “the
way to go”. This progressive thinking has led to today’s family court,
which now requires that all parties who appear before it in divorce
actions be ready, willing and fully prepared to engage in mediation as a
primary tool to help resolve many, if not most, of the issues in dispute.
Contested trials are generally not set unless and until mediation has been
tried. Divorce mediation is a cooperative
problem-solving process where a neutral professional assists family
members in clearly defining the issues which are in dispute and in
reaching agreements that are in everyone’s best interest. Mediation is not a form of marriage
counseling, nor is it arbitration. Rather, the mediation process centers
on the parties themselves dealing with specific, unresolved issues and,
with the aid of the mediator, arriving at mutually acceptable agreements
that can The mediation process provides an
alternative to adversarial litigation, which unfortunately often casts
divorcing spouses as opponents. In contrast, the spouses in mediation are
viewed as cooperative adults who are proactively restructuring their lives
and the lives of their children. The parties who adopt and embrace the
mediation process choose to take charge of their lives and maintain their
senses of dignity and self-esteem. They are in effect saying that they
prefer to end their marriage by a cooperative and rational procedure that
minimizes the hostility, expense and uncertainty of divorce. When the
parties approach the mediation process with gusto and enthusiasm,
mediation often results in equitable, workable and long-lasting divorce
agreements. The family court recognizes the positive
aspects of the mediation process and endorses its high percentage of
positive results. As mentioned, today’s revised family court policy will
generally not allow divorcing parties to move to trial unless and until
mediation in some form has been entered and tried in good faith. Obviously, mediation does not work for
everyone, but the family court recognizes that in most cases, the
mediation process is very successful, often resolving all disputed issues
or, The many benefits of mediation include the
following: a) the parties control their own decision-making process; b)
the parties learn improved communication skills, including the ability to
amicably negotiate disagreements in a productive manner; c) the harmful
effects of divorce on children are substantially minimized; d) the parties
save both time and money; e) anxiety, pressure, stress, uncertainty and
anger that traditional divorce litigation places on all involved parties
is substantially decreased, and f) a “win-win” rather than
“win-lose” approach to conflict is emphasized. |