Psycho ex-girlfriends are more common than
you think! One of my girlfriends was so distraught when her
relationship ended, she sat in her car, in the rain, in her ex’s
parking lot for a week, just too see if he was seeing someone else.
Now, she’s married to the guy and they moved to Mexico (but
that’s a whole ‘nother column).
I had a psycho ex-girlfriend moment the
other day. It scared the hell out of me. A tidal wave of insecurity
knocked me over and for a moment I felt sick to my stomach.
“Don’t talk to me like you talk to her,” I snapped at my ex
through the phone. “Oh my God, did I say that?” I stared at my
cell, horrified that those words and those feelings came out of me!
“Um, I gotta go,” I said and hung up. I was freaked out and
I couldn’t understand where these feelings
came from, why I couldn’t control them, or how to get rid of them.
“I’m a secure, confident, loving,
understanding woman!” I told myself. “What is happening to
I know women are
emotional – and generally, I accept and love being the emotional
creature that I am. But I really felt like I was losing my mind.
this,” I whined to my best friend Amy. “I went through this
stage years ago - what on Earth am I freaking out about? Am I really
this insecure?” I cried.
Generally, I think
of myself as a positive person. I like to think I embrace life and
all its lessons. I thought I was pretty put together and wouldn’t
describe myself as “insecure” by any means (or at least I can
hide it well most of the time.) But this feeling snuck up on me out
of nowhere! It was an all-consuming, massive fear attack!
Fear of what? I
have no idea – but it felt horrible.
I thought of the
stories I’ve heard about psycho ex-girlfriends; I thought of my
past relationships; I thought of my parents’ divorce and of my
girlfriend – sitting in her car, in the rain; I thought of old and
new fears – of abandonment, of rejection; I thought of my ex and
how freaked out he must’ve been; I thought of all the women
possessed by jealousy and how unhealthy it is.
I thought of how silly I was being and of
all the drama I create in my head – just because I am a woman and
that’s what we do. I laughed to myself and thought of a what funny
column this would make – then called my ex and apologized, and we
Melisa Uchida is the co-host of
“Saturday nights with Steve Bohlen and Melisa Uchida” on KHVH
830am - Saturday from 6pm to 9pm. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.