"Da Kine"

By Tony Solis

BENEFITS OF BEING A MAN

Ive opened many a door for women in my time. Ive carried their books, furniture and groceries. You name it Ive carried it. Or moved it. And then moved it again. Although this may sound chauvinistic I still feel its the duty of men to do such things. Yet history has posed the question many times: who is the more dominant species, men or women?

Ill always remember what my dad told me growing up in the 1980s: Its obvious son, women are dominant and much smarter.

My reply was, Why?

Well, lets see. Has your girlfriend ever carried your books to class? When was the last time she got out of the car and opened the door for you? When going out to dinner, did she pull out your chair before you sat?

Hmmm, I thoughtfully responded.

Of course, society today has certainly strayed from that way of thinking. More women are independent and will imposed. They ask for no help or leverage in many cases, and they are not afraid to say with confidence what they want or what they feel. Call me old school, but I still feel to this day that men have certain obligations to all women. Its part of our caveman responsibilities! Strangely enough, as a male, I believe it is to our benefit to do these things for women.

This all leads me to think just what are the benefits that men have over women? Here is the short list that illustrates just that:

1. Wedlock. When she says, I do, your name stays put.

2. Shopping for that big day. Buy a wedding dress: $2,000. Rent-a-Tux: $100.

3. Vanity. When a mans face wrinkles we think it adds character (see: John Wayne). When a womans face wrinkles they think Botox.

4. Etiquette. When a man burps, its expected. When a woman belches, she has no class.

5. When nature calls. For men, the world is your urinal. For woman, they have to go back home. NOW!

6. Hygiene. A man with body hair is sexy. A woman with body hair is, well, not sexy.

There it is! Being a man has its benefits, too. I now look back at what my dad said about women being the more dominant and smarter species. Hmmm. I think I have to agree. Or sleep on the couch. Again.

Tony Solis is the Host of Eh! U Da Kine, Ah? in its second season on OC16, and is an on-air personality and the producer of the Aloha Morning Show on Hawaiian 105 KINE. Tony can be reached at: tony@udakinetv.com.