By Tony Solis
BENEFITS OF BEING A MAN
I’ve opened many a door for women in my time. I’ve carried
their books, furniture and groceries. You name it — I’ve carried it. Or
moved it. And then moved it again. Although this may sound chauvinistic I still
feel it’s the duty of men to do such things. Yet history has posed the
question many times: who is the more dominant species, men or women?
I’ll always remember what my dad told me growing up in the
1980s: “It’s obvious son, women are dominant and much smarter.”
My reply was, “Why?”
“Well, let’s see. Has your girlfriend ever carried your
books to class? When was the last time she got out of the car and opened the
door for you? When going out to dinner, did she pull out your chair before you
“Hmmm,” I thoughtfully responded.
Of course, society today has certainly strayed from that way
of thinking. More women are independent and will imposed. They ask for no help
or leverage in many cases, and they are not afraid to say with confidence what
they want or what they feel. Call me old school, but I still feel to this day
that men have certain obligations to all women. It’s part of our caveman
responsibilities! Strangely enough, as a male, I believe it is to our benefit to
do these things for women.
This all leads me to think just what are the benefits that men
have over women? Here is the short list that illustrates just that:
Wedlock. When she says, “I do,” your name stays put.
Shopping for that big day. Buy a wedding dress: $2,000. Rent-a-Tux: $100.
Vanity. When a man’s face wrinkles we think it adds character (see: John
Wayne). When a woman’s face wrinkles they think Botox.
Etiquette. When a man burps, it’s expected. When a woman belches, she has no
When nature calls. For men, the world is your urinal. For woman, they have to go
back home. NOW!
Hygiene. A man with body hair is sexy. A woman with body hair is, well, not
There it is! Being a man has its benefits, too. I now look
back at what my dad said about women being the more dominant and smarter
species. Hmmm. I think I have to agree. Or sleep on the couch. Again.
Tony Solis is the Host of “Eh! U Da Kine, Ah?” in its second season on OC16, and is an on-air personality and the producer of the Aloha Morning Show on Hawaiian 105 KINE. Tony can be reached at: firstname.lastname@example.org.