the New York strip and lobster, or honey-glazed Alaskan king
salmon, or even the pasta primavera. Nope, side salad is what you pay an additional $1.99 for, with
purchase of main entrée.
Side salad is filler, to put a little something in your
stomach and distract you while you wait for the main course to
In the dating world, “side salad” has the same meaning –
filler. She’s the
girl men don’t necessarily call a “girlfriend.” She’s cool
to hang out with, and may even be smart and pretty, but she lacks
My girlfriend “Sue” called me up the
other day, upset that her “boyfriend” didn’t take her
they hung out together, it was at her place or his place. They
never went out on a date. In fact, none of her closest friends had
even met him. It had
been like this for months and she was upset about the casualness
of their relationship. I didn’t want to deliver the hard truth,
but Sue is side salad.
I’m no relationship expert, but I do know
when a guy is really interested in a girl and when he is not.
Sometimes, guys like to keep it slow, not jumping too quickly into
something, and sometimes they just want what lies between the
But in today’s complicated world of dating
etiquette, how do you know whether you are side salad or a
legitimate girlfriend with long-term potential? I did a little
research and here’s what fellas say indicates a side dish:
“g” word (girlfriend) is never used.
only wants to hang out late at night.
been “dating” for more than six months and he hasn’t
introduced you to his parents, family or close friends.
doesn’t talk about a future together.
there’s not much talking at all.
only calls at the last minute to see you.
snuggling, if any.
no sense of caring or intimacy.
says, “You cool, ah?” as he gets dressed.
you don’t feel worthy, special and valued in the
Basically, if someone suspects they are being
dragged along for a ride, they probably are. I’m a firm believer
in intuition. If you’ve got a hunch, listen to it.
For women out there who want the real deal, the only way I
know of to avoid accidentally becoming side salad is to hold out.
That’s right, let him know you’re worth the full price
entrée – never let him mistake you for a $1.99 girl.
Malisa Uchida is a graduate of Boston
University. She now reports news & traffic on the “Lanai
& Augie Morning Show” (Island 98.5 FM), as well as producing
“The Mike Buck Show” (KHVH 830am). She can be
reached at firstname.lastname@example.org